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Dear Mom,
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The big question appalled and surprised parents often ask their child after a confrontational or revelatory moment is, "Where did you get this attitude from?" I know you hate to admit it, but I get much of my determined and strong-willed nature from you.
¾­¹ýÒ»Õó¶Ô¿¹ºÍÐûй֮ºó£¬Õ𾪵ĸ¸Ä¸Í¨³£»áÎÊ£º“ÄãµÄÕâÖÖ̬¶ÈÊÇÄÄÀïÀ´µÄ?”ÎÒÖªµÀÄã²»ÀÖÒâ³ÐÈÏÕâЩ£¬µ«ÎÒÕâ¼á³Ö²»Ð¸µÄÐÔ¸ñ£¬´ó¶à¶¼ÊÇ´ÓÄãÄÇÀïѧÀ´µÄ¡£
Mom, I know it’s hard dealing with the teenage angst and the ever-changing moods that come with raising a child. But you should also marvel at the fact that I’ve made it this far, that I’m healthy and happy.
ÂèÂ裬ÎÒÖªµÀ¶ÔΪÇà´ºÆÚµÄº¢×Óµ£ÓǵĸÐÊܲ»ºÃÊÜ£¬Ò²ÖªµÀÄãµÄÐÄÇéÒòÎªÑøÓýº¢×Ó¶øµøå´Æð·ü¡£µ«ÄãÒ²Ó¦¸Ã¾ªÌ¾ÓÚÎÒÒѾ­³É³¤µ½ÁËÕâÒ»²½£¬¶øÎÒÏÖÔÚ½¡¿µÓÖ¿ìÀÖ¡£
When I was small, I would attend barbecues and family events and wander away from my parents. It wouldn’t be long before someone would stop me to ask whether I was my mother’s daughter.
Сʱºò£¬ÎÒ»áÔÚÉÕ¿¾ÅɶԺͼÒÍ¥»î¶¯ÖÐÀ뿪¸¸Ä¸×Ô¼ºµ½´¦ÅÜ¡£²»¾Ã£¬×Ü»áÓÐÈËÀ¹×¡ÎÒÎÊÎÒÊDz»ÊÇÎÒĸÇ×µÄÅ®¶ù¡£
"Your mom is Melissa," they’d say, a warm smile on their faces. "Is that right?" I would nod, I assume, parents feel when their child talks back or defies them, I was appalled at this statement. To me, I acted nothing like you, Mom.
“ÄãÂèÂèÊÇ÷Àöɯ£¬”ËûÃÇ»á´ø×ÅÎÂůµÄ΢ЦÎÊ£¬“¶Ô°É?”ÎÒ»áµãÍ·£¬ÎÒÏ룬µ±º¢×Ó¶¥×²¸¸Ä¸µÄʱºò£¬¸¸Ä¸ÔÚ¸ÐÇéÉϿ϶¨ºÜÊÜÉ˰É£¬ÎÒµ±Ê±±»Õâ¸öÏë·¨Õ𾪵½ÁË¡£ÔÚÎÒ¿´À´£¬ÎÒºÍÄãÒ»µã¶¼²»Ïñ°¡£¬ÂèÂè¡£
No one says, "I know you’re Melissa’s daughter because of your eyes and nose" it’s the character traits that seal the deal. Dry wit, intelligence, and yes, maybe a little bit of attitude—these are the things I am grateful I have received from you. There’s nothing wrong with having attitude.
ûÓÐÈË»á˵£º“ÎÒÖªµÀÄãÊÇ÷ÀûɯµÄÅ®¶ù£¬ÊÇÒòΪÄãµÄÑÛ¾¦ºÍ±Ç×ÓºÍÄãÂèÂèºÜÏñ”Æäʵ£¬ÐÔ¸ñÌØµãµÄÏàËÆ²ÅÊDZ³ºóµÄÔ­Òò¡£ÎҺܸßÐËÎÒ´ÓÄãÄÇÒÅ´«ÁËÎҵĻúÖÇ¡¢´ÏÃ÷£¬¿ÉÄÜ»¹ÓÐÒ»µã¾ó¾¢¶ù¡£ÕâÑùµÄÐÔ¸ñûÓÐʲô²»¶ÔµÄ¡£
Like for most black individuals, attitude is what defines you and me, and it’s what keeps us from being mentally oppressed and defeated. Attitude is a non-violent form of protection and confrontation -- where would we be in the world without this tool? Surely not where we are.
Ïñ¶Ô´ó¶àÊýºÚÈËÒ»Ñù£¬Õâ¾ó¾¢¶ùÊÇÎÒÃǵıêÖ¾£¬ËüʹÎÒÃÇÃâÓÚÔÚ¾«ÉñÉÏÊܵ½Ñ¹ÆÈºÍ»÷°Ü¡£Ì¬¶ÈÊÇÒ»ÖַDZ©Á¦µÄ×Ô±£Óë¶Ô¿¹£¬Èç¹ûûÓÐÕâ¸ö¹¤¾ß£¬ÎÒÃǵÄÉú»î½«ÊÇÔõÑù?¿Ï¶¨Ã»ÓÐÏÖÔÚÕâôºÃ¡£
Mom, when people ask me where I get my attitude from, I tell them: you. And when they ask me where I got my drive, my work ethic, my good hair, and my sense of humor, I say you as well. I will always say this.
ÂèÂ裬µ±ÈËÃÇÎÊÎÒÕâ¾ó¾¢¶ùÊÇ´ÓÄÄÀ´µÄ£¬ÎÒ»á¸æËßËûÃÇ£¬ÊÇ´ÓÄãÄÇÀ´µÄ¡£µ±ËûÃÇÎÊÎÒÔÚÄÄÀï»ñµÃ¶¯Á¦¡¢Ö°ÒµµÀµÂ¡¢Îҵĺ÷¢ÖʺÍÓÄĬ¸Ð£¬ÎÒÒ²»á˵ÊÇÄã¡£ÎÒ»áÓÀÔ¶ÕâÑù˵¡£
When I’m asked why I am the way I am -- why I refuse to allow others to hurt me with their words or actions, why I think and speak about things openly and without fear—I’ll tell them it's because of you.
µ±±ðÈËÎÊÆðÎÒΪʲô»áÕâÑù´¦Ê——ÎÒΪʲô²»Ðí±ðÈËÓÃÑÔÓï»òÕßÑÔÐÐÉ˺¦ÎÒ£¬ÎªÊ²Ã´ÎÒ¿ÉÒÔºÁÎÞ¿Ö¾åµÄ̹ȻµÄ˵³öÎÒËùÏëµÄÊ——ÎÒ»á¸æËßËûÃÇ£¬ÊÇÒòΪÄã¡£
I’ll complain to you about the arguments between us that leave me wondering about how God made us so much alike that we hardly even noticed.
ÎÒÒª¸úÄã̸̸ÎÒÃǵÄÄÇЩ³åÍ»£¬ËüÃÇÈÃÎ񼆼̮æÉϵÛÊÇÈçºÎʹÎÒÃÇÈç´ËÏàÏñ£¬ÒÔÖÁÓÚÎÒÃǼ¸ºõûÓÐ×¢Òâµ½¡£
But I’ll tell them about you.
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Love,
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