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Dear Mom,
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The big question appalled and surprised parents often ask their child after a confrontational or revelatory moment is, "Where did you get this attitude from?" I know you hate to admit it, but I get much of my determined and strong-willed nature from you.
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Mom, I know it’s hard dealing with the teenage angst and the ever-changing moods that come with raising a child. But you should also marvel at the fact that I’ve made it this far, that I’m healthy and happy.
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When I was small, I would attend barbecues and family events and wander away from my parents. It wouldn’t be long before someone would stop me to ask whether I was my mother’s daughter.
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"Your mom is Melissa," they’d say, a warm smile on their faces. "Is that right?" I would nod, I assume, parents feel when their child talks back or defies them, I was appalled at this statement. To me, I acted nothing like you, Mom.
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No one says, "I know you’re Melissa’s daughter because of your eyes and nose" it’s the character traits that seal the deal. Dry wit, intelligence, and yes, maybe a little bit of attitude—these are the things I am grateful I have received from you. There’s nothing wrong with having attitude.
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Like for most black individuals, attitude is what defines you and me, and it’s what keeps us from being mentally oppressed and defeated. Attitude is a non-violent form of protection and confrontation -- where would we be in the world without this tool? Surely not where we are.
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Mom, when people ask me where I get my attitude from, I tell them: you. And when they ask me where I got my drive, my work ethic, my good hair, and my sense of humor, I say you as well. I will always say this.
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When I’m asked why I am the way I am -- why I refuse to allow others to hurt me with their words or actions, why I think and speak about things openly and without fear—I’ll tell them it's because of you.
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I’ll complain to you about the arguments between us that leave me wondering about how God made us so much alike that we hardly even noticed.
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But I’ll tell them about you.
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Love,
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Malahni
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