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What is love? It is a word that is difficult to define, because it has the extremely widespread application. I can love jogging, I can love a book, a movie, I can love to eat steak, I can love my wife.
But this love is a huge difference, for example, I love the steak with love to my wife, there is significant different. That is to say, if I cherish chops, steak, on the contrary, do not cherish me. However, my wife, she calls for her star in my life.
Therefore, only a sense of other people's desire to see me as a desire to be individual. I know this, that's why we can love more accurately defined as "desire of desire". So the eternal difficult problem about love is: how to make myself be desire? How to make oneself are continually desire?
In the past, an individual often through their lives to the group norms to seek the answer of the question. You can according to your gender, age, and social status, to play a certain role. And you only need to play that role for the whole community of love and attention. Consider that must maintain a virtuous young woman before marriage, think about that must obey the eldest son of the youngest son, and the eldest son must obey family elders.
But a kind of from the 13th century, mainly in the western Renaissance phenomenon caused by one of the most serious identity crisis in human history. This phenomenon is the modernity. We basically can be summarized by three processes: it is first and foremost, a rational scientific research process, it accelerated the progress of science and technology. Then, a political democratization process to promote the rights of individuals. Finally is the production and the rational process of trade liberalization.
The process of the three intertwined over all the traditional foundation of the western society, and cause changes to the personal life. Now, people are free to cherish or despise any manner, any choice, any things; But as a result, they are also faced with the freedom of others, others to cherish or belittle their freedom. In other words, it was through their submitted to traditional authority and ensures that the self value is now being cast on the stock exchange, allow to measure.
In the personal desire of the free market, I consulted my individual value every day. Therefore, this causes the modern people's anxiety. He/she always obsessed with: "how can I desire? To? How many people will love me?" How is he/she respond to this anxiety? Well, through collecting hysterically can be the symbol of desire.
I put this together with others of collection of sexual behavior is called "temptation capital". In fact, our consumer society is largely based on the temptation of capital. About the nature of consumption, someone claims that our age is materialism. But that's not true! We collect things, just in order to communicate with other heart! We do so, it is to make them like us, to entice others! There is nothing more than to let a young people to buy a new jeans and then to tear by the side of the knee more to the materialism, or more sad, because he wants to win the favour of Jennifer. Consumerism is not a materialist. It was sacrificed in the name of the goddess or all alive, or, rather, in the name of the temptation of capital.
According to this observation on contemporary love, how do we think about the future of love? We can imagine two hypotheses: the first one is composed of a bet, the bet will deepen the capitalization process of narcissism. It's hard to tell what form will be taken, the deepening process because it largely depends on the society and the innovation of science and technology, it is difficult to predict. But we can still try to imagine a dating site, a similar performance bonus promotion plan, use lure capital points, the points according to some of my qualities, such as age, height, body weight ratio, educational background, salary, or I online file. We can also imagine a for chemical treatment of break up, this course can alleviate the love feeling.
And by the way, is now in the hands of the MTV already has a similar program, in the program, heartache is regarded as a kind of disease to treat temptation to teachers. These teachers who "put's (pick - upartists)". "(Artist) Artist" in French means "performance Artist (artiste)". "Pick - up" means is up but not solicit - have to hook up with the most beautiful. So they are carrying jing younger sister performing artists. (laughter.) they called heartache "destiny's child syndrome (one - itis)", in English, "itis" is a word "(infection) infection", we can put one - itis translated as "infection" by the people. It is just a little bit sick. In fact, for those who "the younger sister's got talent", fall in love with a person is a waste of time, it is a waste of your capital. Therefore, it must be cured, is like a disease, like inflammation. We can also imagine a genome with romantic purposes. Everyone can take it everywhere, just like a name card everywhere, to find out whether the temptation can be advanced to reproduction.
The temptation of competition, of course, like every fierce competition, will create a huge inequalities about narcissistic satisfaction, so it will produce many lonely and lost. Therefore, we can be expected that modernity itself the temptation of capital source, will be questioned by many people. I think of a particular reaction, that is, for the new fascism community or religious community. But we don't have to have this in the future.
We can think about another path about the possibility of love. But how do you think? How to give up hysterically valuation needs? Well, well, aware of my own nothing, only can. Yes, nothing, I am useless. But please rest assured: you, too.
We are all useless. The futility of it can be easily proved that nothing is because, in order to seek to value, I need the other half to my desire, this shows, I don't really have any value. I don't have any inherent value. We pretend to have idols; We are pretending to be idols for others, but in fact we are all of others, a bit like the passers-by in the street, they all show the appearance of indifference, although he actually have expectations, and calculated that all eyes will be on him.
I think, more and more aware of the general use, such worries are easing our relationship. Because, I want to be love from head to foot, defending my every choice, the temptation of hysteria. So, I want to look perfect, so that others may love me. I hope they can perfect, so I can determine the value of I. Addicted to performance, it can lead to lovers who would like to break up the results of the performance is not good in that way before.
Relative to this attitude, I called for, with soft, tender love. What is the tender? Tender means to accept the weaknesses of your beloved. It's not be a sad companion caregivers yo. Its not so bad. On the contrary, in the tender, there are a lot of charm and happiness. In particular, I think a sense of humor, humor, unfortunately, has not been fully taken advantage of. It is a deliberate the embarrassment of poetry.
I mean the self-mockery. For those from the traditional constraints, die couples, I believe self-mockery is one of the best ways to endure their relations with each other.
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